tag:,2008:/301 2007-08-29T13:18:01Z Movable Type 3.31 tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.23038 2007-08-29T13:09:25Z 2007-08-29T13:18:01Z

THAT was pretty special, wasn't it? And what a great way to finish the birthday blog!...

Paddy Shennan THAT was pretty special, wasn't it? And what a great way to finish the birthday blog! It may have been short, but yesterday's programme of events in the city centre - with the stunning pageant as its centrepiece - was definitely sweet. And Liverpool's 800th birthday celebrations - although there were a few hours in the day when more events could have been packed in - proved that this city is well capable of throwing a damn good party. Roll on 2008, then! I hope you've enjoyed reading this birthday blog over the past couple of months or so - including the birthday letters specials. Below is the link to my report on yesterday's birthday celebrations. Enjoy the rest of the birthday year! http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/capital-of-culture/800thbirthday/2007/08/29/whoever-said-we-couldn-t-throw-a-party-they-were-wrong-100252-19702930/ tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.22732 2007-08-24T12:11:22Z 2007-08-24T12:21:01Z

I HEREBY enclose the seventh and final batch of previously unpublished birthday letters – hope you enjoy them. And I hope you all enjoy Liverpool’s big day on Tuesday....

Paddy Shennan I HEREBY enclose the seventh and final batch of previously unpublished birthday letters – hope you enjoy them. And I hope you all enjoy Liverpool’s big day on Tuesday. Don’t forget, the ECHO is the place to get all the details of the 800th birthday celebrations – both before and after they happen. I’ll be out and about on the day, itself, and you can read my report on Wednesday. Many happy returns, Liverpool. The Captain The Royal & Ancient Golf Club of St Andrew’s Fife, Scotland “Oh Captain! My Captain!” (Dead Poets’ Society! Great film!), Best wishes and warmest greetings from Liverpool which is about to celebrate its 800th birthday. Anyway, Captain (“My Captain!” – this is as much fun as Crackerjack, isn’t it? “CRACKERJACK!”), the Liverpool ECHO is looking at various ways we can make this summer’s festivities go with a swing (pun intended!) and we thought the greatest golf club in the world (well, Scotland) could grab a piece of the birthday action. As Jonathan Ross would say, “Here’s the thing” . . . a wonderful event called “The Liverpool ECHO’s Hazy, Lazy, Utterly Crazy Fun Golf Weekend (in association with St Andrew’s).” Basically, this would involve us getting a coachload of Scousers up to St Andrew’s for a two-day crazy golf tournament. Crazy? It will be utterly wild! Think of the tabloid and TV interest. Think of the bar takings. And if it’s a success – how can it not be? – we could make it an annual event. Please let me know what you think – I’m sure we can get the ball rolling soon (no pun intended this time). All the best to you and the men who serve under you, Captain (“My Captain!”) Crackerjack! (“Crackerjack!”) NOTE: My letter was re-directed to the Links Management Committee at St Andrew’s and, a day later, I received a call from a committee member who asked: “What dates were you looking at?” His promised follow-up letter, however, never arrived. The Manager, Hampton Court Maze, Hampton Court Palace Dear Sir, May I extend sincere and warm greetings, all the way from sunny Liverpool . . . let’s just hope you receive them and are not stuck in that bloody maze! Talking of which . . . I’m delighted to say it’s the proud city of Liverpool’s 800th birthday this summer. Pretty impressive, I’m sure you’ll agree. To mark this most special of years, we are keen to arrange a series of special events and outings for our readers – and we had the bright idea of enlisting your services to organise a special Liverpool ECHO outing to Hampton Court Palace. Basically, this would involve bringing down a coachload of readers and staging a unique day out, entitled: “Spot The Scouser In The Maze!” Incidentally, we are well aware that the maze was planted as part of the gardens laid out for William of Orange between 1689 and 1695, but, just to put your mind at rest, thanks in no small part to the efforts of our late Bishops, Sheppard and Worlock, there is little evidence today of any difficulties between the city’s Roman Catholic and Protestant communities – in other words, there is no chance of the maze being subjected to any sectarian shenanigans (in other words, you won’t be asking: “Who weed on the hedges!?”) But, on this point, what happens if people do get caught short while they’re lost in the maze? Are there in-maze toilets, or should they “just go” where they are? Anyway, we think a “Spot The Scousers” day is a great idea – it could even make the telly and the tabloids. We look forward to hearing your thoughts on this exciting proposal – oh, and we really would be delighted to receive your best wishes in this most special of birthday years! NO REPLY! HENRY KISSINGER Dear Mr Kissinger, The most diplomatic of greetings to you, from Liverpool (so diplomatic, I’m not going to ask you about your involvement in Cambodia or Operation Condor). This great city will, on August 28, be celebrating its 800th birthday and we would be most honoured if you, as a dead famous diplomat, could send us a special “Happy Birthday” message. That, in itself, would be enough – but I wonder whether, should you be thinking of travelling to Europe again in the near future, I could interest you in a spot of “shuttle diplomacy” . . . it would basically involve you shuttling up and down the East Lancs Road, between the great city of Liverpool and Manchester. The thing is, relations have been a bit strained between the two cities for a long time now . It would, perhaps, be undiplomatic of me to point out that all the blame for this lies with Manchester – but that is actually the case. So would you fancy trying to turn the tide of history by bringing Liverpool and Manchester together – once and for all? Just a thought. But that “Happy Birthday” greeting is the main thing – we can carry on sniping at each other for a while yet, if you can’t fit us in. NO REPLY! MICKEY ROONEY Dearest Mickey, Warmest greetings from Liverpool, the birthplace of your “soccer” (we call it football!) star son, Wayne (not that we talk about him much in these parts, not since he left the Mighty Blues to play for Manchester United). You’re The Man! No, you really are The Man, aren’t you? And you’ve also been a bit of a lad as well, haven’t you? Eight marriages! Well, Mickey, they say some people never learn! But what a life – you’re 86 years young and, after a lifetime of making fantastic films (who can forget It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World? Mad? It was absolutely zany!) you’re still working, with your touring production Let’s Put On A Show. By the way, it looks like you’ll need to get someone to update your biographies. They all mention your sons Tim, Teddy, Mickey Jnr, Kyle and Jimmy – but not Wayne! Not ashamed of the little fella, are you? (not so little now, he’ll be 22 in October. They call him Shrek!). To be fair, although his shocking show of disloyalty in turning his back on his supposedly-beloved Everton Football Club made him many enemies in his home city, I suppose the lad’s done well for himself – he’s already a multi-millionaire and, after coming through that well-publicised spot of unpleasantness involving a Liverpool whorehouse, he seems to be nice and settled with the lovely Coleen (if only he could keep her out of the shops! But you must know all about that!) Enough of all that, though, because I’m writing to invite you to say a very happy birthday to the city of Liverpool which, on August 28, will celebrate its 800th anniversary. We would have asked your Wayne to pass on this request, but we’re not sure he’s talking to us! Keep on keeping on, Mickey – and, don’t worry, we’ll continue to keep an eye on young Wayne for you. But joking aside and in all seriousness, you have achieved so much and the Liverpool ECHO holds you in the utmost respect. We would be delighted, therefore, to receive your best wishes in this most special of birthday years. NO REPLY! tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.22670 2007-08-23T15:13:11Z 2007-08-23T15:16:22Z

Vladimir Putin The President of Russia Comrade, Greetings from Liverpool – land of the free (and the Superlambanana, Billy and Wally’s Hold Your Plums – do you have any tapes? I could send some – and, of course, The Shell...

Paddy Shennan Vladimir Putin The President of Russia Comrade, Greetings from Liverpool – land of the free (and the Superlambanana, Billy and Wally’s Hold Your Plums – do you have any tapes? I could send some – and, of course, The Shell Suit. Are they all the rage in your home city of St Petersburg, yet? It’s only a matter of time). Enough of the pleasantries, though, because Liverpool will be celebrating its 800th birthday this summer and we would love it if Russia’s top man – that’s you – could send us a special greeting in this most special of years. Also, is there anything you can do about Roman Abramovich? The guy is ruining football in this country. His wealth is making it artificial and ludicrous. I mean, Chelsea winning things . . . how artificial and ludicrous is that? I know you’re a powerful man and can – taps nose – pull a few strings, so I hope you can start pulling this guy’s strings. He’s spoiling things for everybody else. But first and foremost – and in all seriousness, El Presidente – it would be wonderful to receive a “Happy Birthday Liverpool” message from you. NO REPLY! Jacqueline Gold Chief Executive of Ann Summers and Knickerbox Dear Ms Gold, You are Businesswoman of the Year, the head of a supremely-successful retail sex empire and, according to the 2007 Sunday Times Rich List, absolutely rolling in it . . . as the four lads who shook the world (aka The Rutles) sang: “Am I in luv? I must be in luv!” No wonder you didn’t look THAT browned off when you had to sit next to Jeffrey Archer on ITV’s Fortune: Million Pound Giveaway – you can afford to smile in such trying situations! Anyway, Jacqueline, we wanted to say “Well done for being the brilliantly-sexcessful person you are and . . . would you be good enough to send the sexy city of Liverpool a special, ahem, Gold-en greeting ahead of its 800th birthday this summer?” Everything you touch turns to (here we go again) Gold and maybe a little bit of your magic will rub off on us if you send a “Happy Birthday” message. As you will of course know, we have our own Ann Summers in Liverpool city centre. The shop is below the offices of famous city solicitor and Liverpool ECHO columnist Rex Makin who, when giving people directions, is fond of saying he’s “on top of Ann Summers”. And there are one or two people I know here at the ECHO who would be more than happy to help with a spot of stocktaking at the Liverpool shop – especially if they could take home any unwanted items. But seriously, we would be delighted if you could send the city of Liverpool a simple “Happy Birthday” message. Thanks so much – and keep on sticking it up those men on the Rich List who are nowhere near as rich as you. NO REPLY! Jonathan Ross Dearest Jonathan, Eight hundred greetings from the city of Liverpool, which celebrates its 800th birthday this summer. Jonathan, we understand you have never meant any of the desperately cruel, offensive and insulting things you have said about Liverpool over the years, because we know you have a deep love for the place. Some of your marvellous material is as blue as an Everton shirt – and your lovely wife’s spectacular hair is as red as a Liverpool top. Anyway, Jonathan, we here at the Liverpool ECHO are huge fans of your work (even those occasional Friday Night With Jonathan Ross shows which don’t feature Ricky Gervais) and feel you are great value. But if you are feeling in any way guilty after signing that £18m contract . . . how do you fancy investing some of it in Everton FC? While you’re thinking about that, we would be absolutely delighted if you could send us a special birthday message. Keep on keeping on, Jonathan – and don’t let the Disgusted Licence-Payers of Tunbridge Wells (and various other places) get you down! NO REPLY! The Manager The Priory Hospital, North London Dear Sir, Warmest greetings from Liverpool which, on August 28, will celebrate its 800th birthday. The Liverpool ECHO is determined to make this year a memorable one for its readers and, as such, is hoping to arrange a series of special events and offers. Although we accept that you do a lot of great work for people who really do need your expert professional help, we also know, through the tabloids, that you provide a service for ne’er do well, professional celebrities who know the value of dragging your good name through the mud (and the tabloids). They know the score: “A few days in the Priory equals a few days on the front pages.” But, in the spirit of fairness, we believe that what is good enough for no-mark singers and reality show contestants – shysters and desperate attention-seekers the lot of ‘em – is good enough for the man and woman in the street. We reckon our readers – good, solid citizens who, rather than bleating, pull themselves together and just get on with things when they feel a little under the weather – are much more deserving of a spot of indulgence and tender loving care. With this in mind, how about we get together to offer a select group of ECHO readers a special “Pamper yourself weekend of luxury at The Priory, with all the trimmings – including being snapped by the paparazzi”? Isn’t that a great idea? We could call it “Pamper The Scousers.” It might even make the tabloids! We look forward to hearing your thoughts. NO REPLY! tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.22665 2007-08-23T14:41:01Z 2007-08-23T14:45:00Z

His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum Vice President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates and Ruler of Dubai Owner of the Dubai International Capital (DIC) Investment Group Your Highness, Sincere greetings from Liverpool – please,...

Paddy Shennan His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum Vice President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates and Ruler of Dubai Owner of the Dubai International Capital (DIC) Investment Group Your Highness, Sincere greetings from Liverpool – please, don’t set fire to this letter or chuck it in the bin, because I have nothing to do with Liverpool Football Club. You should also know that many Liverpool fans were saying DIC’s plans to take over Liverpool FC were the best thing since sliced bread – although when Tom and Georgie Boy threw their baseball caps into the ring people started saying their plans were the best thing since sliced bread. Fickle old game football, isn’t it? Anyway, there are still plenty of people in Liverpool who have a lot of time for DIC and, as this proud city is looking forward to celebrating its 800th anniversary on August 28, it would be fandabidozi (that’s basically “fantastic”, if you don’t know The Krankies’ lingo – and hell, why should you?) if you could send us a special birthday greeting. If nothing else, it would show there are no hard feelings. PS Why don’t you make an offer for Liverpool’s first football club: Everton? Go on. Please. It might even end up being the best thing since sliced bread. NO REPLY! Sir Alan Sugar Dear Sir Alan, The warmest of greetings from Liverpool, European Capital of Culture for 2008 . . . and 800 years old on August 28. Having celebrated a big day yourself recently (and we hope you had a truly sensational 60th birthday on March 24) we thought you might appreciate the importance of our forthcoming anniversary. Incidentally, fair play to you for dismissing “bull********, schmoozers and ****lickers” on your first class TV series The Apprentice . . . little wonder you now describe your ill-fated spell as chairman of Tottenham Hotspur as a waste of time. But that was all a long time ago . . . so how do you fancy investing in the great Everton Football Club? I’m sure you could teach those new Yank kids on the Anfield block a thing or two! It’s something to think about, anyway. But while you mull that one over, it would be wonderful if you could send the city of Liverpool a “Happy Birthday” message. Thanks, Sir Alan. PS What, do you think, is your best catchphrase? My favourite is “Frances, you can send them in now.” I bet poor Frances can smell their fear, too. Good. Cocky bleeders. NO REPLY! Sir Philip Green Bhs Dear Sir Philip, As the country’s top retailer, you have made it to number seven in the 2007 Sunday Times Rich List – so well done for that! But we reckon you deserve to be number one in the Great Quotes List, thanks to your wonderful one-liner: “Winners have parties, losers have meetings.” Nice one, Sir Phil! Anyway, the big news is that Liverpool is looking forward to celebrating its 800th birthday this summer and we are writing to the great and the good (and Norman Tebbit) to ask them to send this world-famous city a special birthday greeting. We know you are big mates with Bill Kenwright, so we feel sure you would like to pass on your best wishes to his birthplace (hey, did Bill attend that famous toga party you threw for your 50th birthday – and have you got any pictures?) Thanks, Sir Philip – and don’t forget: “Death To The Meeting. Power To The Party!” PS Oh go on, then. While we’re at it – and just to make a change from Bill asking you – do you fancy buying Everton Football Club? NO REPLY! Lakshmi Mittal Mittal Steel Company Ltd Dear Mr Mittal, You are the richest man in Britain, with a reported wealth of £19.25 billion . . . good lad! And well done for, as we say in these parts, “sticking it up” Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich, who came a distant second in the 2007 Sunday Times Rich List with a measly £10.8 billion. We’re still laughing about that! (it’s a football thing). But the big news is . . . the great city of Liverpool will be celebrating its 800th birthday this summer and we would love it (just love it) if you could spare a few seconds of your precious time to wish us a “Happy Birthday”. Thanks Mr Mittal, sir. And, once again, well done for being so rich! PS Ever thought about buying Everton Football Club? You could rub Mr Abramovich’s nose in it on the football field, too! NO REPLY! tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.22544 2007-08-22T09:53:22Z 2007-08-22T09:56:06Z

GEORGE W. BUSH Dear George Walker Bush, Walker!?! No wonder you stick to “W”. Listen up, George, it’s Liverpool’s 800th birthday this August and we would just love it if you, the most important man in the world (I know!...

Paddy Shennan GEORGE W. BUSH Dear George Walker Bush, Walker!?! No wonder you stick to “W”. Listen up, George, it’s Liverpool’s 800th birthday this August and we would just love it if you, the most important man in the world (I know! I bet you’re still pinching yourself), sent us a special birthday message. We’d also love to be able to look forward to The Big One (no sniggering at private, mucky jokes about Clinton and that Lewinsky minx, here, George! – that sordid little saga stained us all) . . . a George W. Bush visit to Liverpool! You may recall that you sent over one of your little helpers not so long ago – Condoleezza Rice – and I bet she’s told you all about our city. I can hear her now: “It was fabulous, George. I got a really hot reception. The people were going mad for me, shouting and screaming their heads off. It must have been the same for The Beatles. “And Liverpool is such an amazing place, and so well-served by its police force – there were cops everywhere!” So it would be great, George, if you could put yourself forward for some of the same, either this year (birthday year!) or next (Liverpool as European Capital of Culture year!) But before you get out the atlas – we’re not too far from London – please send us that birthday greeting. Have a nice day! NO REPLY! GEORGE BUSH SENIOR Dear George Herbert Walker Bush, I’ve just written to your son (George junior – you know, the guy with his finger far too close to that button! Only joking), inviting him to say a very happy birthday to Liverpool, in this the year we celebrate our 800th anniversary. Now that, my dear American cousin, is what you call history! Any road up, I got to thinking that you probably feel a little left out these days, what with everyone writing to the lad and ignoring The Daddy in the process. But we respect parents and old folks in this part of the world, so we want to invite you, too, to send a special birthday greeting to little old Liverpool. Don’t forget, we gave America The Beatles (and you burned their records!) It’d be great to get messages from both father and son, so God bless you both – the world will certainly never forget the Bush boys (aren’t any more we don’t know about, are there? Only kidding). NO REPLY! THE SULTAN OF BRUNEI His Majesty Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu’izzaddin Waddaulah, the Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam Your Majesty, First things first – what a magnificent name! Greetings from the city of Liverpool to the – I’d better use your short name – Sultan of Brunei (note how I didn’t go for the obvious gag by calling you the “Sultan of Swing” – you must get really sick of that). You are not just the Sultan – great, though, that is – but the ruler, prime minister, defence minister, finance minister and head of the religion of Brunei Darussalam. Great work! Any road, I write to inform you that it is this proud city’s 800th birthday this summer – and to ask you if you would be so kind as to send us a birthday greeting. You are held in high esteem by the people of Liverpool and it really would be wonderful to receive your best wishes. PS Fancy buying Everton Football Club? Go on, you have been linked before . . . let’s make it official this time! NO REPLY! AA Gill The Sunday Times Dear Adrian Anthony Gill, That’s a nice name, so why be ashamed of it? Greetings, you old josher, from Liverpool, which will proudly celebrate its 800th birthday this summer, with – hopefully – a tiny little bit of help from your good self. We know of your deep and abiding love for our city which, of course, is not too far from Wales, the land of – in your words – “immoral liars and stunted, bigoted, dark, ugly and pugnacious little trolls.” If that southern saddo Jade Goody came out with all that (imagine!) they’d probably call her a “racist *******”, but we know it’s different when it comes from you. People are missing the point if they call you a bitter, pompous prat who is full of self-loathing, because you’re really a comedian. I’m sure you hate it when people take you seriously. I must pick you up on one thing you’ve written, though – you described our wonderful city centre restaurant 60 Hope Street as a “London restaurant in Liverpool.” Come on mate, that’s a bit below the belt. We know all about those restaurants in that there London, thanks to the likes of your good self and Mr Winner, so surely a kinder (and more accurate) thing to say about 60 Hope Street would have been that it is a “Liverpool restaurant in Liverpool.” To the matter in hand, then. Yes, next year Liverpool will be European Capital of Culture, but this year we’re celebratring our 800th birthday . . . go on, AA, be a gent and wish us many happy returns! Cheers, old pal. NO REPLY! tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.22541 2007-08-22T09:18:16Z 2007-08-22T09:32:16Z

JADE GOODY Dear Jade, As you are apparently the 15th most influential person in the world (or you apparently were), we just had to write to ask you if you would be kind enough to wish the proud city of...

Paddy Shennan JADE GOODY Dear Jade, As you are apparently the 15th most influential person in the world (or you apparently were), we just had to write to ask you if you would be kind enough to wish the proud city of Liverpool a happy birthday. That’s right! We are 800 years old this August – d’ya reckon Heat magazine might do a special feature? They could call it: “Liverpool: Our Laughter! Our Tears! Our Famous People Who Are Famous For Being Famous (And Going To The Newz Bar and The Pan Am). Our Battle Against Cellulite!” And once our big birthday year is out of the way (after December 31, 2007), it’ll be our European Capital of Culture year (that’s from January 1, 2008 – hope you’re keeping up, Jade!) Liverpool’s motto is “The World In One City” because, like you, we have a proud history of welcoming all creeds, colours and cultures. Bullying and belittling people from other countries is just not in our make-up – yes, I know, you’re going to mention Danielle Lloyd’s name here, aren’t you? Well, there’s always the odd exception, but wasn’t she led astray by a bigger bully? But let’s move onto more pleasant matters because, as well as inviting you to say “Happy Birthday Liverpool!” we’d like to invite you, during 2008, to follow up your (“private”) tour of India by coming on a tour of Liverpool, taking in, among other places, Toxteth, Chinatown – and a couple of fantastic Indian restaurants, because, as you memorably said in Delhi: “Everyone knows I love an Indian!” Let’s do it, Jade! But hey, let’s also keep this as low key as possible. We could invite a camera crew from Channel 4, one or two of the tabloids and three or four of those crappy gossip mags – but that’s all. We don’t want to be accused of milking it, do we? So, we very much look forward to receiving your happy birthday message ASAP (as soon as possible) – and an indication of when you’d like to go on a tour of Liverpool in 2008 (I expect your diary is pretty empty at the moment). NO REPLY! Simon Cowell Dearest Simon, Chart-topping greetings from Liverpool, the Capital of Pop! As our hottest talent spotter, you must get sick of listening to screeching, ear-splitting, tone-deaf dunderheads who haven’t got a bloody clue (but enough about Sharon Osbourne) so I’d like to give you the chance to consider something which has style, substance and staying power. Yes, that’s right . . . come on down The City of Liverpool! We reckon you’ll agree that, like your good self, we have the X Factor. We did, after all, give the world The Beatles, not to mention The Reynolds Girls and The Chuddy Nuddies. This summer, Simon, Liverpool celebrates its 800th anniversary and, all joking aside, it’d be absolutely great if you, as the country’s current Mr Music (if we’re not counting Ray Quinn), could send us a special happy birthday message. Cheers, Simon – and well done for turning down the Spice Girls all those years ago (good call). NO REPLY! SAMUEL L. JACKSON Hey Samuel, All the best to you from one of your favourite places – sunny Liverpool! It seems like, oh, seven years ago, since you were here in Merseyside, laughing and joking with Ricky Tomlinson (he sends his regards!), playing golf . . . and, of course, playing a kilt-wearing chemist in the gangster movie The 51st State. And we were really chuffed when you said in an interview: “Every time I told anyone in London I was making a film in Liverpool they went ‘awww’. I was anticipating not enjoying myself there but I found it to be a very pleasant place and all the people were really cool and helpful.” You were also very astute regarding your comments about your visit to Anfield. You said: “The first football match I went to was Liverpool versus a Romanian team. That was the worst example of football anyone could have taken me to because I didn’t know that Liverpool didn’t have to score. So I just watched these guys kick the ball out of bounds for an hour and a half.” You thought THAT was bad . . . you’re lucky you weren’t taken to watch Bolton Wanderers! As a golfing enthusiast – in real life as well as in the film – you also enjoyed plenty of practice on British courses, revealing: “I played most of the courses in Liverpool and I’d take the ferry over to Ireland and also go up to Scotland. But I was up in Scotland recently and it was raining sideways!” How about giving Scotland the swerve in 2008 – and coming back to Merseyside, to watch the British Open just down the road from here in Birkdale, near Southport? It’s a great time to visit, because Liverpool will also be European Capital of Culture in 2008. But let’s just hold onto our horses here because, before all that, Liverpool will be celebrating its 800th birthday . . . this very summer, 2007! And we feel sure, Samuel, that you, as a big fan of Liverpool, will be delighted to send us a special “Happy Birthday” message. NO REPLY! MICHAEL JACKSON Alright Mike? (I’m glad to see you’ve dropped the Wacko Jacko monicker. Let’s be honest, it didn’t do you any favours) Don’t panic! I’m not going to mention Martin Bashir, or make any cheap gags about monkeys, dangling small children from tall buildings, bad skin (“Who’s bad?”) . . . or bad songs (“Who’s bad?”) We know you have a deep and abiding love for Liverpool, just as Liverpool has a deep and abiding love for you – people in the city still talk about your show at Aintree Racecourse back in 1988 (as in: “I couldn’t see a bloody thing” and “No, nor me”). You are, therefore, probably well aware that the city is looking forward to celebrating its 800th birthday this summer. Eight hundred years? That’s longer than you would have got in choky if there had been a terrible miscarriage of justice following Kiddiegate (but let’s not drag all that up again). To get to the point (“FINALLY!” I hear you shriek in that funny, high-pitched voice you like to put on when you’re going for laughs), we would love you to send a special birthday greeting to us. You could even draw a picture of a monkey on your letter, if you want. Whatever makes you happy (well, within reason!) NO REPLY! tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.22538 2007-08-22T08:47:57Z 2007-08-22T09:01:51Z

BRITNEY SPEARS Dear Britney, Greetings from Liverpool – a city which appreciates and celebrates the different, the quirky and the individual. Many of your fellow Yanks - and a fair few Brits who don’t possess that special Liverpool spirit –...

Paddy Shennan BRITNEY SPEARS Dear Britney, Greetings from Liverpool – a city which appreciates and celebrates the different, the quirky and the individual. Many of your fellow Yanks - and a fair few Brits who don’t possess that special Liverpool spirit – got their knickers in a right twist over you shaving your head a while back, but we knew where you were coming from. We know it was a carefully thought-out attempt to rid yourself of a restrictive past and embrace a new future where you can do What The Bloody Hell You Want To Do. And why not? You seem to be going for the chav look but, with respect, we reckon you’ve still got a lot of ground to cover. With this is mind, may I respectfully suggest you start a new life for yourself right here in Liverpool? Yes, there is our famous musical legacy – are you aware of Sonia’s work? – but, more important to you at the moment, we feel, following your retirement, is the anything goes attitude which exists here. You want to say “Knickers” to wearing more than one or two items of clothing? That’s fine – Mathew Street is ready and waiting for you. Hate getting out of your jim jams during the week? That’s fine – come to Liverpool and go shopping in your favourite PJs! Come on Britney, if we can handle Courtney Love – yep, she lived here in the early 1980s when she was a real wild child – we can handle you. Anyway, while you’re thinking it over – and wondering which pyjamas to bring – I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you it’s this proud city’s 800th birthday this summer. Joking apart, we would love to receive special birthday wishes from the enormously talented – and wonderfully individual – Britney Spears. NO REPLY! MADONNA All hail “Lady Madonna” (children at your feet!) Greetings to you, Mrs Madonna Louise Ciccone Ritchie and, if I may jump the gun, may I wish you all the best for your 49th birthday this August. And waddayaknow? It’s Liverpool’s birthday in August, too – and we’ll be 800 years old! No offence, but that’s a bit more impressive than 49, isn't it? It’d be great if you, as the Queen of Pop, could send a special “Happy Birthday” greeting to little old us but, in addition, how about giving this some serious thought with your Guy . . . “The Magnificent Madonna Liverpool Pub Crawl!” Having seen you bigging up real ale and the ace Timothy Taylor Landlord, in particular, on some chat show or other (I think it was Jonathan Ross), I reckon we could be onto a double whammy of an idea, here. Because, in one hazy, crazy, mad Madonna weekend of wonderfulness, we can celebrate YOUR birthday and OUR birthday! We can sort out the details in due course, but how about attempting to cover 20 pubs over two days? Have a look at your diary and let us know what you think – then we can talk dates, pubs (it would be great to do a bit of “Vogueing” in The Globe in Cases Street) . . . and how we can get you around the pubs without you being mobbed by your army of Merseyside fans while you’re trying to have a quiet half of Timmy Taylor’s. But don’t worry if you think you’ll be a bit tied up – it’s not always easy to get sitters for the kids, is it? – because we’d honestly just be happy to receive a happy birthday greeting. All the best Madonna, Liverpool’s Crazy For You. NO REPLY! HIS HOLINESS POPE BENEDICT XVI Your holiness, Warmest greetings from Liverpool, the home of a thriving Roman Catholic community and two cathedrals – including the Metropolitan Cathedral of Christ The King (but that's a bit of a mouthful, so a lot of people call it Paddy’s Wigwam). Your most revered predecessor, Pope John Paul II, famously visited this city in 1982 and was given a wonderful welcome. And it would be wonderful if you, your holiness, could find time in your busy schedule to visit Liverpool. But in the meantime, it would be fantastic if you could send a special birthday greeting to Liverpool, as it looks forward to its 800th birthday this summer. A few kind words from yourself would be cherished here on Merseyside. Peace be with you! NO REPLY! BOB DYLAN Dear Bobby, Cheer up, it might never happen! Serious question, Bob: You remember that famous photo taken of your good self and a bunch of Liverpool kids in Dublin Street, Liverpool, on the afternoon of May 14, 1966 (ahead of your gig that night at the Liverpool Odeon Theatre)? Well, what the hell were you doing posing for pictures while there was an FA Cup Final going on? And not just any old Cup Final, this was Everton v Sheffield Wednesday! You missed the greatest comeback in the history of the competition (Wednesday were two-nil up, but the Blues stormed back to win three-two with two goals from Mike Trebilcock (the commentator pronounced it “Trebil-CO” but the man, himself, later explained it should be pronounced “TrebilCOCK”!) and one from Derek Temple. I bet you’re still kicking yourself for missing it. But don’t worry, because it’s now widely available – which gives us an idea . . . we know you played the Summer Pops a while back, but, bearing in mind it’s Liverpool’s 800th birthday this August, why don’t you pop down to the ‘pool this summer? If it’s too soon to sort out a gig, perhaps you could have a kickabout in Dublin Street for old time’s sake . . . we could recreate the Everton-Sheffield Wednesday game and you could be matchwinner Derek Temple. And after the game, we could finish off with a few pints of Guinness in a local pub – the landlord might even put the video/DVD of the Everton-Wednesday Cup Final on if we ask nicely! In the meantime, it’d be great if you could send special 800th birthday wishes to the city which gave the world The Beatles . . . and somewhere atmospheric for you to pose for pictures. Keep rockin’ Bob! And keep playing the Blues! (geddit? Oh please yourself). NO REPLY! tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.22533 2007-08-22T08:29:39Z 2007-08-22T08:40:21Z

President Fidel Castro Vive el Presidente! Greetings, comrade Fidel, world icon and top man in the Republic of Cuba . . . from the Republic of Liverpool....

Paddy Shennan President Fidel Castro Vive el Presidente! Greetings, comrade Fidel, world icon and top man in the Republic of Cuba . . . from the Republic of Liverpool. We know you’ve been quite ill in recent months, but hope this letter finds you in good health and good heart . . . and that you’re now back behind your desk sticking it up the Americans in whatever way you can. When you stood trial in 1953, you famously told your opponents: “I warn you, I am just beginning. If there is in your hearts a vestige of love for your country, love for justice, listen carefully . . . I know that the regime will try to suppress the truth by all possible means; I know that there will be a conspiracy to bury me in oblivion. But my voice will not be stifled – it will rise from my breast even when I feel most alone, and my heart will give it all the fire that callous cowards deny it . . . Condemn me, it does not matter. History will absolve me.” Brilliant stuff – but never mind all that, because we want you to wish us a happy birthday! Liverpool is gearing up for one hell of a big bash, to celebrate our 800th, on August 28. Now that’s what I call a history (thank God I’m not writing to a Yank – I’d have to explain what “history” means, wouldn’t I, Fidel?) Cheers, comrade. NO REPLY! SIR BERNARD INGHAM Dear Sir Bernard, “Sir”? Amazing! Only kidding, top man. You were, in your heyday, more than just the hairiest pair of eyebrows in the West. You were (God help you) the Chief Press Secretary to The Thatcher between 1979 and 1990. Thatch had a word with Her Madge, did she? Well, why not? You scratched her back (not literally, I hope) and she scratched yours (not literally, I hope). No, I’m sorry. I can’t shake that dreadful image out of my brain. No wonder I’ve come over all queazy. No offence intended, though. Right ho, Bernard, I know you’re a plain-speaking Yorkshire lad who calls a spade a bloody shovel, so let me stop beating around the bush – because I’ve always said you should avoid cliches like the plague and that procrastination is the thief of time (then again, other people say you should look before you leap. I think 10cc had it right – life is, indeed, a minestrone. What am I going on about? God knows!) – and extend a very special invitation to yourself. It’s Liverpool’s 800th birthday this August and the Liverpool ECHO would like to ask you to send a special, plain-speaking greeting to this great city. I know what you’re thinking – you said something about the Hillsborough disaster having been caused by a “tanked-up mob” and you probably feel a great many people in the city still resent you for making such a crass, unfeeling and inaccurate remark. Well, yes, they do. But we feel sure you’ll want to take this opportunity to say how deeply ashamed you felt – and, perhaps, still feel – about that remark which, no doubt, was made at a time of great stress (and what could have been more stressful than being The Thatcher’s bag man?) Also, perhaps they didn’t teach you about the importance of checking your facts when you were a cub reporter on the Hebden Bridge Times all those years ago. Never mind. I’m sure you’ve learned a valuable lesson. Finally! So there you go, Bernard, the perfect opportunity for you to say “Happy Birthday” and “Sorry” at the same time. No need to thank us, we’re here to help. NO REPLY! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad President of Iran Mr President, Greetings from Liverpool, land of the free (please don’t go thinking we’re part of the UK). Iran and Liverpool have more in common than you might think – you hand out ill-fitting, cheap and nasty suits to British navy personnel before sending them back to Blighty . . . and a lot of Scousers wear ill-fitting, cheap and nasty trackies and shell suits. By the way, we understand you banned “indecent” Western music from state-run TV and radio stations back in December 2005. I don’t blame you – I’ve heard Atomic Kitten. We also understand you are a man of the people, calling your website the People’s Friend – why don’t you come over to Liverpool and enjoy watching a game or two at Goodison Park, home of Everton FC, the People’s Club? But to get to the main point, this proud city of Liverpool is set to celebrate its 800th birthday this August – and we would love it if the esteemed President of Iran could send us a “Happy birthday Liverpool” greeting. Cheers, squire – and keep your head down (at least while Bush is still in power). NO REPLY! HIS HOLINESS THE DALAI LAMA Your Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, reincarnation of the Buddha and leader of the exiled Tibetan government, That’s quite a mouthful! Anyway, a thousand billion zillion greetings from Liverpool, where you performed a storming show – and delivered a great message of hope – back in 2004. A ticket-only crowd of 2000 punters queued from daybreak to see you awarded an honorary fellowship by Liverpool John Moores University, while a further 1000 people had been placed on a waiting list stretching back six months . You certainly know how to pull ‘em in, don’t you, Dalai? I bet you’ve got great memories of that special day – and will be delighted to hear that Liverpool is still on the up and up. We’ll be European Capital of Culture next year and, this summer, we’ll be celebrating our 800th birthday! Isn’t that brilliant? And, ahead of this wonderful occasion, it would be truly beautiful if your holiness could send a birthday greeting to the city of Liverpool – we really would be delighted to receive such a special message from such a special person. PS Do you fancy buying Everton Football Club? With your pulling power, there would surely be no problem raising the money. NO REPLY! tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.21824 2007-08-13T14:15:16Z 2007-08-13T15:16:44Z

WHAT will they try and cancel next . . . Christmas?...

Paddy Shennan WHAT will they try and cancel next . . . Christmas? I go away for a couple of weeks and what happens? I return to find that one of the main planks ("Planks"? A good word and one which could easily be used elsewhere in this piece, to convey a different meaning) of this city's 800th birthday celebrations has been removed. The Mathew Street Festival will not be taking place in its full-scale form, as thousands of OUTDOOR revellers of yore know only too well. As countless commentators have said, this so-late-in-the-day botch-up doesn't bode well for 2008, while few people could now have much faith in the Liverpool Culture Company doing the right and most obvious thing - should they be given a brewery and a load of ale. It's always good to have the powers-that-be on your side, but in situations like this when you are badly let down it's probably best to follow those old cliches, including "If you want something doing, do it yourself" and "Carry on regardless". On a lighter/brighter note, the ECHO is continuing to do its bit on the 800th birthday front and, as part of this, in the lead-up to the big day (starting today, Monday August 13), we are bringing readers The Paddy Shennan Birthday Letters. Some time ago, I wrote to the great and the good - and to the likes of Margaret Thatcher and Kelvin MacKenzie - to ask them to wish Liverpool a "Happy 800th Birthday". And some of them, depsite the irreverent nature of my letters, even replied. The likes of Boris Johnson, Sir Alex Ferguson, Jose Mourinho and Jeffrey Archer got into the spirit of things. The likes of Norman Tebbit didn't. I hope you enjoy reading them - and I hope the powers-that-be haven't cancelled 2008 by the time of my next blog. tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.19569 2007-07-25T15:20:04Z 2007-07-25T15:49:08Z

Now, looking ahead to Liverpool's 900th birthday . . ....

Paddy Shennan Now, looking ahead to Liverpool's 900th birthday . . . What will the city be like then? It may not be a question which need concern US that much, but let's think of the children. Namely the grandchildren. And great grandchildren. And great great grandchildren. Some people - no names, no pack-drill - may be having trouble looking ahead as far as the city's big 800th (only 34 days to go as I write this), but the ECHO, in an excellent example of multi-tasking, has decided to not only promote our forthcoming celebrations but also consider what life may have in store for the Liverpool of 2107. Or, rather, the powers-that-be have asked me to tell readers what could lie ahead for Liverpool's future citizens (I'm already feeling sorry for them - no Pete Price or Amanda Harrington columns for them to read in the ECHO). We - or should that be "me"? (I'm on my own on this one. You don't think that Joe Riley is going to help out, do you?) - also want to hear from your good selves. What do you think Liverpool will be like 100 years from now? Will the Big Dig have finished? Will Liverpool fans still be moaning about UEFA? ("At least we've got something to moan about, you sad Blue," ECHO Red Tony Barrett) Will Everton still be at Goodison Park? Will the Liver Building have been knocked down and replaced by apartments? Send me your ideas - as funny or as serious as you like (though funnier will be better). Either reply here or email me at paddyshennan@liverpoolecho.co.uk The article will appear around the time of our birthday (August 28, you haven't forgotten, have you?) but come on, strike now while your ideas are hot. Cheers. tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.18980 2007-07-19T13:42:20Z 2007-07-19T14:03:37Z

GREAT news in tonight's ECHO which proves that Liverpool people do want to celebrate their city's 800th birthday....

Paddy Shennan GREAT news in tonight's ECHO which proves that Liverpool people do want to celebrate their city's 800th birthday. The article, by the ECHO's Culture Reporter, Catherine Jones, reveals that culture bosses are ordering more street party packs - which include bunting, balloons and badges - after sinking in a sea of requests from wannabe revellers. So what was it those misery moos and malcontents were saying about no one wanting to mark this major occasion? Around 300 parties are already planned across the city, and this represents a whopping increase of 50% since the ECHO got on board two weeks ago. Even better news, the Liverpool Culture Company is now working with the Chamber of Commerce to produce packs for pubs. With 40 days to go, it seems that party fever is now spreading fast . . . * For more birthday news go to www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/800 tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.18726 2007-07-17T12:41:27Z 2007-07-17T13:16:40Z

AND still we appear to be waiting for the city's movers and shakers to do far more moving and shaking . . ....

Paddy Shennan AND still we appear to be waiting for the city's movers and shakers to do far more moving and shaking . . . ECHO readers know when the city's big day will be upon us because we spell it out on the front page every day with our "... days to go" symbol (it's 42 as I write this. Yes, the big 800th falls on August 28 - soon creeps up on you, doesn't it? No, it doesn't - it takes 800 years). But there is still a general and genuine feeling among many that not enough is being done by our city fathers - and mothers - in the public awareness stakes. Events have been planned by the city council - see previous blog entries - but how well are these being pushed, presented and sold to us? Not very. There may - again, as I've reported before - be an indecent amount of apathy and negativity surrounding the birthday, but a lot of this is probably down to the fact that so few people in positions of authority are taking a lead. This is underlined in a missive I've just received from Liam Fogarty, chair of amayorforliverpool.org In it, he asks, not unreasonably, "Where's the party?" He adds: "Liverpool is supposed to be celebrating the 800th anniversary of its charter in 2007. But you'd barely know it. The Council says this year is a 'dry run' for Capital of Culture, 2008. Am I the only person who find this less than re-assuring? "Logging onto the Liverpool City Council website you find precisely NOTHING to indicate that this is our 800th birthday: no logo, no links, and no message from our civic leaders. "And to visit the Liverpool Culture Company site (www.liverpool08.com) is to become lost in a Kafkaesque maze of non-information. Visitors who insist in finding out about birthday events are advised: "Download a 2007 calendar of Liverpool Culture Company creative commissions and partnerships (MS Word [92.5Kb]. Download time 21 seconds based on a 56k modem. Will open a new browser window.) Or a list of Merseyside-wide key cultural events for 2007 (MS Word [185Kb]. Download time 43 seconds based on a 56k modem. Will open a new browser window.)... " and so on in a similar vein for several paragraphs. "Eventually a line-up of 16 events is listed, the first six of which have already taken place. And all 2007-related material has not been updated since it was clearly written last year. "Pathetic. But, hey, if no-one's actually in charge of this thing we shouldn't be surprised..." And yet, taking the big day, itself, in isolation, it isn't too late to ensure that August 28 will be a day to remember. But the powers-that-be better start shouting about their birthday plans sooner rather than later. If not, people will make other plans - and find other parties to go to. tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.18307 2007-07-12T08:43:57Z 2007-07-12T09:37:30Z

Do you need an excuse to have a few scoops and a good time? Do you hell....

Paddy Shennan Do you need an excuse to have a few scoops and a good time? Do you hell. I remember one occasion when me and the missus decided to throw a house party - no particular reason, we just fancied having a party. Our friends didn't need to be invited twice, but we were amazed at the number of suspicious/conservative work colleagues who said: "But what's it FOR? You don't just have a party for no reason." How about because you're alive? Liverpool will soon have 800 reasons to celebrate - and still some misery moos and malcontents are moaning past themselves. Since I was asked to start writing this blog - and me a Luddite! - I've been accosted by both the apathetic and the angry (although perhaps the "apathetic" aren't quite as apathetic as they would like me to believe - or else they wouldn't have got themselves worked up about it enough to accost me). Their gripes fall into various categories: * "Why should I celebrate Liverpool's 800th when I wasn't around for the 700th and won't be around for the 900th?" * "Why should I celebrate when I wasn't alive for the first 770/760/750 of the 800 years? Why should I care? * "We didn't celebrate 790 or 795, so what's the big deal?" * "What's in it for me?" And so on and so on and so on. Bleat, whinge, whine, moan. I realise celebrating a city's 800th birthday may not be as important as celebrating, say, your own 40th or your kid's 18th or 21st (or any of your or their birthdays for that matter), but after all the flak this city has taken during its history, shouldn't we celebrate the very fact it's still here? Come on moaners, throw out your frowns and start getting into the party spirit. After all, life's hard and then you die - so you may as well let your hair down when you can (if you've got any hair). As the song says: "Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think." tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.18175 2007-07-10T12:27:16Z 2007-07-10T13:03:15Z

THERE are many things preventing us from celebrating our 800th birthday in a conventional style....

Paddy Shennan THERE are many things preventing us from celebrating our 800th birthday in a conventional style. What, for example, do you buy the city which has everything? It's bad enough choosing a pressie for an aged relative - after 70 or 80 years on the planet they tend to already have everything they need - but an 800th birthday!?! We're in unchartered territory here. Somehow, I don't think "Here you are, Liverpool - I got you socks" is going to be acceptable. It would be pretty surreal, though. Yeah, let's get that bonkers bird - sorry, I mean very serious artist - Tracey Emin up here to present us with a pair of her stinkers . . . we could call it art and put them on ebay. Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. Blog Fever, possibly. And don't believe the hype from card shops which claims: "We sell cards for every occasion" - cos I ain't seen one for a city's 800th birthday anywhere. Have you? The trouble is if there was one who would you give it to - the Mayor? Council leader Warren Bradley? Doddy? Billy Butler? Superlambanana? So many questions . . . tag:birthdayblog.merseyblogs.co.uk,2007://301.17711 2007-07-05T12:03:11Z 2007-07-05T12:06:38Z

MUCH good work has undoubtedly been done in the corridors of power ahead of our (hopefully big) birthday bash. But what do YOU believe we should be doing to mark the day? What events do YOU reckon should be taking...

Paddy Shennan MUCH good work has undoubtedly been done in the corridors of power ahead of our (hopefully big) birthday bash. But what do YOU believe we should be doing to mark the day? What events do YOU reckon should be taking place to mark the granting of Liverpool's first charter by King John on August 28 in 1207. I want you to tell me. Now. Go on. You know you want to. http://www.liverpool08.com/OurCommunities/Heritage/Liverpools800thBirthday/ A few points of order, though, about the above points: Regarding number 1: What's in the party kits? I hope it's balloons. And party poopers. And streamers. And sweets. And cake. Regarding number 2: Perhaps I'm missing something here, but there's always a hint of a "retro theme" with the Mathew Street Festival, isn't there? What with The Beatles' link and all that. And regarding number 5 . . . only three hours!?! Can't we have an all-dayer? A public holiday? A week's holiday? Send me your ideas and plans - the more outrageous the better.]]>