THERE are many things preventing us from celebrating our 800th birthday in a conventional style.
What, for example, do you buy the city which has everything?
It's bad enough choosing a pressie for an aged relative - after 70 or 80 years on the planet they tend to already have everything they need - but an 800th birthday!?! We're in unchartered territory here.
Somehow, I don't think "Here you are, Liverpool - I got you socks" is going to be acceptable.
It would be pretty surreal, though.
Yeah, let's get that bonkers bird - sorry, I mean very serious artist - Tracey Emin up here to present us with a pair of her stinkers . . . we could call it art and put them on ebay.
Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. Blog Fever, possibly.
And don't believe the hype from card shops which claims: "We sell cards for every occasion" - cos I ain't seen one for a city's 800th birthday anywhere. Have you?
The trouble is if there was one who would you give it to - the Mayor? Council leader Warren Bradley? Doddy? Billy Butler? Superlambanana?
So many questions . . .
